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The difference between an Emo and others
August 10th, 2008
I’m the man with the biggest dick in the world
August 10th, 2008At least this is what google thinks when people are searching for the words”the man with the biggest dick” 
Iar pentru fata de 10 ani, in cautare de pula, stau si ma gandesc daca sa o ajut si sa ii pun o poza cu asa ceva pe blog sau nu. Nu cu a mea, normal, nu incape aici si oricum cred ca a gasit deja ce vroia.
Now it’s time to come down from the cloud 9… where the weather is fucking fine, so here’s the message i want to transmit: i have a buba so suck my pula!
How to have a successful business
August 9th, 2008You want to start your own business and want the best method to make money and to have happy employees? Well, stop looking at Google like companies and use my method. Easy to implement, very efficient and it will bring you only the best employees in your field. Let’s see now what you have to do, the steps to follow, I mean 
Continue reading: How to have a successful business »
O telenovela de groaza
August 4th, 2008Se pare ca azi voi reusi sa aberez de la noul loc de munca. Intr-un fel sau altul am reusit sa ii fentez cu accesul la internet, dar nu voi scrie in engleza, just in case So, here we go:
Cristi teleleu novel Tanase - episod pilot
Londra. O vreme sumbra in aeroportul Heathrow, cu o ploaie marunta si deasa ce se abatea din plin asupra scalpului lui Cristi, un copil abatut si adus de soarta intr-o tara in care isi pusese multe sperante de mai bine si, al carui par continua sa creasca invers, contrar oricarei legi gravitationale. Cu pasi marunti, el inainta spre iesire, lovind cu coatele lui de roman multimea ce ii taia calea. Continua sa faca asta murmurand in gand tot felul de apelative morbide si injositoare la adresa mamelor tuturor persoanelor din aeroport. De cateva ori reusi sa treaca cu bagajele peste picioarele unor trecatori mai grabiti. Amprentele talpilor lui au ramas impregnate adanc in sangele aparut subit pe lespezile reci ale culoarului. Uitandu-se la ceas vazu ca nu prea mai are mult timp de pierdut asa ca, o lua grabit spre zona cu taxiuri. Aici gol. Pustiu. Se simti parasit asa ca, luand o ultima bomboana de pe fundul pungii de M&M’s se hotari sa traverseze spre statia de autobuz. Se uita in ambele directii. In stanga, o masina neagra se departa in zare. Probabil ultimul taxiu din acea zi ce avea sa il mai vada. In dreapta, undeva cam la 250 de metri de el, vazu un vendomat plin de diferite sortimente de M&M’s. Pret de cateva secunde ramase furat de mirajul din departare. De acea Fata Morgana a dulciurilor. O lume colorata si plina de bucurie ii aparu in imaginatia lui bogata. Atat de mirific. Dar se hotari sa traverseze. Cu pasi inceti, inainta plin de siguranta, tragand dupa el tona de valize si genti. In mai putin de o milisecunda se facu brusc intuneric. Si liniste. Nici ploaia nu mai cadea.
Cu 30 de secunde in urma. Maria, o romanca stabilita de mult timp in Anglia, abia ce iesise din scoala unde preda fizica cuantica. Era in Mini-ul ei tunat la maxim, in drum spre aeroport unde urma sa se intalneasca cu parintii ce veneau sa o viziteze. Se gandi sa schimbe linistea cu un album Bile (Sex Reflex). Cu o mana isi tinea mascara-ul, cu cealalta apuca cd-ul si incerca sa il introduca in player. O franare usoara pentru a ocoli o vrabiuta speriata de ploaie si cd-ul ii cazu pe jos. Se apleca sa il ridice, dar brusc simti cum ceva greu ii izbeste masina, o umple de sange, bucati de geamantane si chiloti murdari. Un ciorap de student, nespalat de 3 saptamani ii vazu pe nasucul ei abia lucrat de estetician. Adormi. Se trezi la spital. In dreapta ei un pacient statea intre viata si moarte. Ii striga asistentei ca vrea sa vorbeasca cu un medic. Nici nu apuca bine sa isi termine cererea ca de dupa colt aparu varul ei. Tot roman. Medic in acest spital. Se pare ca Maria nu a avut decat o leziune usoara la cotul stang. Mai simtea doar putina durere.
Isi intreba varul ce e cu pacientul de langa ea.
- E cel pe care l-ai lovit, draga. Ne-am chinuit 6 ore sa ii scoatem numarul de inmatriculare din stomac. Se pare ca tinea bine cu dintii de el. Si ne-a incurcat si faptul ca piciorul stang se zbatea in spasme, lovind ceafa, cauzandu-si astfel si o fractura craniana. Plus ca nici acum nu stim de ce un ochi e negru complet. Tind sa cred ca e de la motorina ce a tasnit in timp ce fuma o tigara. Dar se pare ca telefonul lui a ramas singurul lucru intact. Si ghici ce… vorbea cu verisoara noastra Andreea. Care si ea avut un accident acum 2 ore in timp ce inota in Marea Neagra. A fost luata de un val, in larg, unde a fost atacata de singurul rechin ramas in acele ape tulburi. A reusit sa scape de el, dar meduzele au simtit sangele si au napustit asupra ei precum albinele la miere. Fiind prea mici, a reusit sa le inlature dupa jumatate de ora de lupta apriga, plutind astfel pana la mal. Ar fi trait, dar aici s-a taiat in cioburile lasate de turistii romani amintire unui litoral fara un viitor stralucit.
- Ce zi trista!
- Da, Maria… Mergem intr-un pub dupa program?
Haarlem home sweet home - trailer
August 3rd, 2008Today i just finished assembling all the IKEA furniture shit. Easy my ass, took me 2 days to put all the parts together. And my hands are so sensitive now… i can barely press on my keyboard. Hmm… i think i forgot to eat this evening. Anyway, you can take a preview on what I’ve done until now. Not yet finished, but still in a good condition. Oh, and the quality of the photos is not that good because the weather is crappy and my phone too.
Click on this image for the slide-show:
Update 1: Flickr has gone mad… added the description of the pics multiplied with 3. I’m too lazy to change it.
The Dominator Festival 2008
July 28th, 2008The morning. The wake up. The day. The final destination. The Dominator Festival. The biggest hardcore festival in the world.
All from a point of view of a so called alien.
My world was so normal and quite boring until I arrived at the entrance. That mass of people waiting to go inside made the first step in making me shiver. And the bass. The only sound that could be heard there. After passing through the security line, everything totally changed for me. I am listening to hardcore music since 1993 but never been on a real hardcore party. Well, after seeing those thousands of people, from 18 to 80 years old, dancing and enjoying this kind of music, I felt like I’m not on Earth anymore. This was heaven. And hell did a party in it. Angels, evil or bad, were banging their heads on the walls of a world now owned by the savage rebels, the musical radicals, the undisputed rulers united by the power of a sound considered too strong for a human mind. And they are here to stay. To stay and claim their right for a hakke of a party.
No fighting, no hate, no anger, a war with music, the army of hardcore. When I heard this song on the Neophyte’s set and when I saw that mass of gabbers with the hands in the air singing and dancing on this lyrics: “START THE WAR / CAUSE WE ARE ON THE FLOOR / IT’S NEVER SEEN BEFORE / ARMY OF HARDCORE” I was above all gods, heavens and hells. Wordless. I only remember these few words:
FUCK YOU ROMANIA!
This is DOMINATOR!
One normal day at work in Netherlands
July 24th, 2008Again, walking alone on a small street with dark corners and frightening shadows. The water is flowing on my left side and old buildings passing beside my right side. Someone is laughing. This laugh haunts me. For a few seconds I have the impression that is the voice of Catalin. No, no way. this is impossible! I’m sure it’s Jack The Ripper. This neighbourhood looks exactly like in that movie. Or book. I’m getting scared. The street is going down now, almost becoming a mountain. Me in top of it. It gives me the impression that I’m a giant, growing bigger and bigger but i still feel like a butterfly. My weight goes lighter and lighter. Soon i will start flying. In front of me there is this strange dark - pink river. I want to fly over it but suddenly a midget grabs my leg (I’m still huge) and starts to shake it. Something is ringing. And i hear that voice again:
- Wake up man! Time to go to work! … Catalin said.
Fuck! It’s 7 o’clock and i must wake up. Note to myself: never smoke so much weed when i should go to work the next day.
Of-course, i miss the bus from 7:24 so, I’m starting to smoke a little bit. Feels better than coffee. During the trip to the office i get asleep. The driver wakes me up. I wake Catalin. We both look like junkies. Business ones.
We enter the office, we shake hands with the colleagues and with the boss too. The last one looks to us and with a very weird face throws this words:
- Why we shake hands? Is that a common thing in Romania?
Bewildered, i reply:
- Yes (probably because we are much more friendly and manly… i say in my mind).
I sit down and take a look around. 60% of the people are black. No, I’m not a racist but i feel like working on a slave plantation. Even if I’m not doing anything at work. Yet. Anyway, I’m starting to buzz again Catalin to let me send some e-mails from his account (i don’t have one yet… fucking bureaucracy). After one hour he finishes his tasks for today so we start to mock all the colleagues in our native language. We realise that the word “pula” is the funniest ever.
10:00 AM, time to go on a training with the black Swiss guy. 40 years old and still kisses everyone’s ass. My opinion, if at this age you are at this level then go back to the stone age. I find a place next to him near the trainer. Actually I’m quite behind him, the black dude. If i want, i can draw on his nape but this won’t be as funny as the fact that a white bug walks freely on his head. It’s like seeing people in black&white 
. Another bug, this time black, walks on his shoulder. Starting to think if he ever heard about soaps in his life. Maybe not. Five minutes after the training started my eyes are closing. At least nobody is seeing me while I take a short nap. After a few seconds i wake up wondering why the time goes by so slow. I decided to take a look at the clock: 11:56. Good Lord! That was fast! The trainer finishes his mambo jambo course. Time to go to lunch. This time i will listen to my boss’s advice: “Cristian, please take at least one hour lunch break, to relax”.
14:30, I came back in the office but I’m not feeling quite ok. Since i moved to The Netherlands I started to shit at least twice a day. Therefore i go to the toilet to solve my natural problems. It’s good that I have my Sony PSP with me… 2 hours on the “throne” and that damn goddess didn’t died. I hate this game. And i also finally took the dump. Now all of my problems are uploaded on the server WC. After wiping my ass I decide to get up. No way man… no chance. I’m paralyzed! Fucking shit, too much time spent on the toilet. Soon i recover… 90% and going straight to the office where I’m telling everyone that I was on some self training here in the building.
I take a look around and see that everybody has this bored look. They’re all rubbing the mint. So why not me too? At least for half an hour, after that I’m going home, too much work for today.
Again sleeping in the bus. I wake up with my face stuck to the window and the sun burning it. After 2 damn weeks of continuous rain the fucking sun decides that this is the right moment to burn. Anyway, arrived home, i grab some beer from the fridge, 2 beers, no, make it 3… what was i saying? Oh yeah, after those beers i decided to write this post.
Cheers!
The winner has it all
July 24th, 2008Finally, the prize arrived to the winner of the contest! Big thanks for my assistant managers
Here is a picture with him wearing the T-Shirt (censored for security reasons, anti raping purposes and so on):
Greets!
or in dutch: Groetjess!
Parfumul unui fum de vara
July 18th, 2008Dragi cetitori,
Dupa o lunga absenta interna… bah ce tare, de cand am inceput sa scriu s-a facut senin afara! Ah, da, revenind la treburi mai importante, am reusit sa ma mut in Olanda. In principiu, cam toate sunt ok, mi-am rezolvat ce era de rezolvat etc alea alea. Mai putin diareea ce a aparut din cauza schimbarii de clima. Eu asta sper ca e cauza.
Am decolat din tara sambata pe 12, cu aceasta ocazie le multumesc cucuietelor de Raluca, Diana si Sorana pentru seara petrecuta cu mine si condusul la aeroport. Fete de treaba, cum sunt ele, mi-au carat toate bagajele, eu ramanand doar cu pachetul de tigari in mana. Si desi aveam cu mult peste limita admisa pt bagaje la check-in se pare ca am avut noroc si am scapat fara sa platesc nimic 
In avion, toate bune si frumoase pana cand sa inceapa lumea sa se aseze langa mine… plm, fix, singurul cocalar din avion, avea loc langa mine. M-am bagat imediat la PSP-ul meu si l-am ignorat adormind intr-un final. Acum vine partea de cacat, cred ca m-a tras curentul stand langa geam pt ca jumatate de zi nu am mai putut auzi bine cu urechea stanga. Trebuiau si ei sa inchida geamul mai bine.
Ajuns in Amsterdam, i-am pasat o parte din bagaje lui Catalin care, saracul, venise cu o ora mai devreme in aeroport pt ca si-a pus ceasul sa sune cu o ora mai devreme (adica pe la 7 dimineata era acolo deja). Incepand cu sosirea mea acasa la el pot sa zic ca nu mai tin minte multe pentru ca nu am baut apa deloc. Imi mai aduc aminte ca pe la 7 seara m-am intalntit cu Jules de unde am ajuns prin vreo 4 cluburi si 3 baruri. Iti dai seama pe unde e loc de distractie dupa lumea care sta afara sa fumeze. Haarlem-ul chiar e minunat. Mai frumos decat Amsterdam chiar. E mai linistit, dar nu lipsesc locurile de distractie. Ba chiar au si un mic redlight-district al lor. Iar olandezele, ei bine ele, deci… bah chiar arata bine. Si chiar sunt de treaba. Nu ma asteptam sa fie comunicativi oamenii de aici, dupa cum imi spuneau gurile rele ale anumitor personaje din anturajul meu.
Cat timp am locuit in Bucuresti se spunea despre mine ca sunt norocos la gasit chirii ieftine si apartamente super ok. Nici aici nu o las mai prejos, mi-am gasit in a doua zi de stat aici. 450 de euro, all inclusive si zona centrala. Dar aveti grija, daca va cautati pe craiglist.org, sunt multi tzepari acolo. Pretind ca au chirie super ok si ieftina si iti cer banii prin westernunion, ei cica fiind momentan plecati din tara, dar iti vor trimite cheile prin dhl, la fel si adresa unde vei sta.
Cred ca sunt cam telegrafic, dar ma grabesc sa plec printr-un coffee shop de langa mine .
Sa va spun un pic si de cum e la job aici (de aia am plecat). Bai, oameni mai lenesi ca astia eu nu am mai vazut. Si foarte prosti. Si lingai. Abia astept sa ma infing in ei si sa ii pun la treaba. Sa vezi ce pun eu sclavii de negri de aici la munca
Cred ca o sa mai scriu destul de curand. O sa vin si cu poze de prin zona. Momentan va las una cu fetele cucuiete ce au indraznit sa faca pe hamalele pana la aeroport.
Stimabilul,
Christ Saddler
PS: premiantul isi va primi tricoul curand, sper eu, ca altfel ii dau bataie Ralucai pentru ca la ea este tricoul. BTW, a iesit atat de bine incat imi venea sa nu il mai dau ca premiu si sa il pastrez eu
Si castigatorul/castigatoarea este….
July 10th, 2008Este persoana care mi-a trimis urmatoarea imagine:
