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The Blogger Voodoo Kit
A friend of mine gave me this gift. So, I’ve decided to make an entry about it but with bloggers instead of office workers.
Voodoo is an ancient and mystical belief system created long before anyone ever used the words “blog” or “referrers”. As such, there is little in the way of traditional spells that would apply to the daily trials and tribulations of blogging. But there’s no reason why that minor detail should stop us. There are three basic components to the Voodoo experience:
- THE VOODOO DOLL: What a luck! It comes in the package!
- PINS: How fortuitous! They came with the kit!
- PERSONAL EFFECT: This part you’ll have to take care of yourself. What, were you expecting everything to be handed to you?
“But wait”, you ask, “What is personal effect?”… well I’ll tell you: a personal effect is something uniquely associated with the persons’s blog you want to punish or reward through the Voodaic arts. It could be a part of a blog entry, a referral link, a scrap of partially digested food from some bloggers meeting (not recommended), or any website that a person uses regulary.
Once you have decided on a target (oh, you haven’t decided on a target yet? then why are you reading this entry in the first place? anger without a target is a dangerous thing), you must acquire a personal effect from this blogger and attach it to either male or female side of your Blogger Voodoo Doll. Then you can use one of the pre-applied spells that are written directly on the doll, or create spells of your own.
Try these variations:
- Attaching an Escape Key, along with the personal effect, will mean that the blogger will find a nice new hacked face-lift on his new blog layout
- A pair of some old, stinky socks anywhere on the doll will cause the blogger to loose readers
- Pinching the neck of the doll and then whispering your name in the doll’s ear will lead to a tightening of the blogger’s throat the next time he tries to attack you with bad?comments.
The problem with putting a spell on a blogger is that folks of his breed tend to be so clueless about anything having to do with the real world that they may not know a spell has been cast on them. So you’ve got to be blatant. And, finally, no matter how hungry you get, don’t eat that unclaimed stuff that’s been in the refrigerator since the day you were hired. Yes, I realize this has nothing to do with voodoo blogging, but I thought you should learn from my naive experiences.
Cheers!
July 13th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
ce se intampla cu lumea de la tine de pe blog…a cam..disparut…le-ai facut vooodooooo????