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How to mend a broken heart
Sau cum sa scapi de o depresie in dragoste. Apucandu-ma sa imi citesc blog feed-urile, dupa o pauza destul de maricica, am dat peste un entry ce continea o metoda de a scapa de acest fel de durere in cur - pain in the ass in varianta ortodoxa. Citind textul mi-am dat seama ca ar trebui o varianta imbunatatita si mult mai eficace (eficaca pentru cei cu dereglari sufletesti cu adevarat mari), asa ca iata cum suna ea:
Perfect for problems starting from Day 1 to 1 Year and beyond:
- take a bottle of Finlandia (even if it’s not full of vodka)
- take a bottle of Saniuta romanian vodka
- another one of gas (any type of gas)
- some strawberry juice will be fine too
- take some courage from the bottom of your broken heart and mix all this in the bottle of Finlandia or in a jar first, with a mixer or something
- you’ll notice the nice color of the liquid… it makes you wanna drink it instantly
- put it in the bottle, take some cigarettes with you and some matches and go to the asshole’s/whore’s house
- light a cigarette, take a deep breathe, open the bottle and insert a hanky in the bottle’s neck to filter the alcohol, yell at him/her to get out at the window and…
- light the hanky, throw the bottle on fire in his direction and run across the street
- keep smoking while watching him/her burning, shitting all over the house because of the fear of dying (you’ll notice the nice red color of the fire because of that strawberry juice)
- call the cops and tell them that a crazy fucker fired his house, trying to kill his family and rape his dog/cat (be sure to call from a prepayed number that you’ll throw in the first trash bin)
- run as fast as you can, far far away from that place and drink some beer with your best friends
- repeat this until you get bored
- at the end write with shit on his door (what’s left from it): “i like your new haircut”
- oh, and send him/her some imortele flowers (Helichrysum bracteatum) at the hospital. With this you’ll prove what a big heart you have, unlike him/her.
I hope this was helpfull for all of you - broken hearted mo’fo’s.
August 8th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
and in the end tell them not to forget to put you in the 1st position on their will, to inherit all what wasn’t destroyed by the strawberries
August 8th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Rapid, usor si eficient!
Strawberry juice-ul e de mare efect.
August 9th, 2007 at 9:34 am
You’re crazy
August 9th, 2007 at 10:54 am
ohoo… si inca cum
August 14th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
super tare idee…la asta nu ma gandisem