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How to have a successful business
You want to start your own business and want the best method to make money and to have happy employees? Well, stop looking at Google like companies and use my method. Easy to implement, very efficient and it will bring you only the best employees in your field. Let’s see now what you have to do, the steps to follow, I mean 
1. No matter what, DO NOT HIRE women in any of your departments. NONE! NADA! If you’ll do this, your company will be like a marriage and you’ll be sucked by all the money without even knowing who and how did it. Take in mind that men are always better than women in any field. Just look at the history of any working and non-working area and count the number of famous men and women and you’ll see what I mean (PS: they even suck in fashion too).
2. Don’t hire relatives. Actually you can do that but only if you are 100% sure that they are the best in doing that job. So keep focusing on the best people only.
3. Create a nice and peaceful environment. Free beverages, food, drinks, recreation areas as meeting rooms, lots of green plants for a fresh air. Also, allow people to smoke where ever they want, the plants will do their job with the smoke.
4. And now the thing that makes the difference and will project you in the top of anything: hire only top model women for the desk cleaning maintenance and for the security department. The only thing they should be allowed to wear is their beach-suits.
5. Create a general rule like: whenever an employee gets bored, tired, stressed at work, should be allowed to have sex with the cleaning ladies or with the security department. Therefore, hiring a whore would be the best. Anyhow, they all are bitches and that’s what they do the best. So why not to earn money legally being a bitch?
6. Make weekly meetings to listen to what your employees want to do at work besides working and try to accomplish all their requests.
7. The last but not the least, any employee who wants to take advantage of all this benefits should complete all their tasks for that day or, at least the day before plus half of the current day. Everyone knows that a man will do anything to have sex, even working. But for this you should implement a carding system where all the completed tasks can be saved. Using this method you will know what has been done by everyone, who’s working more and who less and, they can pay for their fun.
Now work and have fun guys and girls.
August 9th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
8. Be extremely sexist.