What should i do after he broke up with me
This post is dedicated to the girl from Sighisoara (who also has a 17″ display btw) who landed on my blog searching for “what should I do after that fucking moron broke up with me, the princess of all beautiful things? die shit-head die!”. Ok, ok, the real search terms were “ce sa fac sa nu ma gandesc la el?”, but I think I used a better translation for what was in her mind.
Let’s give her some manly advices… besides crying the hell out of her eyes:
- Obviously, stop whining and bitching around. You’ll get dry and eventually die. Seriously!
- Slap your face 3 times a day: 10 slaps for each cheek in the morning, noon and evening. You can slap your ass too if that turns you on. This also helps you get rid of that cellulite thing.
- Go out, dressed like a whore, gather some friends (must be females too) and go to a club or pub, get drunk, dance and kiss every guy you dance with. French kiss. It’s a must! (You can also give me an email with the name of the club and when you are planning to go there… I like to help people).
- Have sex. Lots of sex. With your best-male-friends… or with your best-girl-friends… or combine them in a gang-bang. Be wild!
- Go in the center of the town and tell to a randomly good looking guy that you love him and you want to have a date as soon as possible. With him. He will accept for sure (only if you are not some ugly-fat bitch in which case you deserve all the break ups in the world). Before going to that date, arrange with one of your friends to take your ex to a talk-walk in the same area and hour you should meet with the new hansom guy. Kiss him wild in front of that bastard. DO NOT salute him. Only your friend, with a very big smile on your face.
- break up with this new guy after 2 weeks, 4 days and 18 hours. It’s very important to be exact with the time. Precise things make you feel good, in control, the master of disaster.
- For about 2 weeks go to the library and read books. But NOT romantic ones. Try some Playgirl magazines… these are some very good books for girls. Helps a lot.
- play some shooting games on the computer. Play until you’ll get very frustrated. Throw the keyboard you’ll probably break and go buy another one. If you go shopping IT stuff, as a girl, you’ll feel weird, lost but glad that there is someone out there to help you. This makes you more confident in people. The geek guys from the shop might be attractive too. In their own special nerdy way. PS: nerds are starting to look better than in the old times.
After all this, you are ready to start your new life, get in love then break up again then come back to my blog and read this shit one more time until you’ll learn that this is the way life is. Get used with it and get along with this entire break up bullshit.
Good luck!
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lol cristi, niciodata nu mi s-a prezentat o astfel de perspectiva. multumesc, esti un zeu!
@costina nu stiu de ce, dar erai pe la spam cu ultimile posturi, am corectat acum
poti sa faci asta daca vrei, cu preluatul 
off, am incercat, dar mi-e prea rusine sa spun lucrurilor asa pe nume pe blogul meu de fetita corporativa, cu viata personala cat permite corporatia si cu ora de intrat in casa
insa l-am dat pe mail unor colege, sa il aiba de inspiratie pentru caz de Doamne fereste
Sa stii ca a dat rezultate
in sfarsit!!!